Diane Dreher

I often hear people refer to the American Dream—as having a good job, a family, a house, and two cars in the garage. And many people strive for this dream.

 

On one level, this version of the American dream makes sense. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have needs for basic survival, food, and shelter. Yet there is more to life than fulfilling our physical needs. We also need a sense of belonging and fulfillment—a deeper sense of connection, purpose, and meaning .[1]

 

In the Renaissance, people believed that everyone had unique talents and strengths and they were expected to use them to fulfill their destiny and contribute to the greater good. This was a time of tremendous creativity from artists, writers, scientists, and leaders, when a poor boy from the English countryside whose parents could only sign their names with an X brought his strengths to the London stage as William Shakespeare.

 

This Renaissance of possibility still exists today. When we each develop and use our strengths, this creates a positive ripple effect where we all benefit.

 

I've seen this effect in the people I know. I've met someone who grew up as poor boy from the southern California desert with an alcoholic father and suicidal mother, then  became a brain surgeon, author, and founder of Stanford University's Center for Compassion, positively impacting many lives. Another person I know was a secretary at my university who volunteered to work for social justice, improving the lives of farm workers, the hungry, and homeless, and becoming an inspiration to all who knew her.

 

Now it's your turn. You can explore your own dream by thinking of someone you admire for living their dream of aspiration. Think of someone who's inspired you. As you focus on this person, take a mindful moment to embrace this person's life and inspiration. Visualize them. Feel a sense of connection. And ask yourself, "What do I admire so much about them?  What lesson do they have for me?" 

 

Now ask yourself, "What is my dream?" Pause and listen for the answer.

 

Be patient. The answer will come, now or later, as you see yourself living your own dream, reaching out to fulfill your destiny.  

When you are ready, you can take the next step toward your dream.[2]

 

References.

 

[1] Maslow, A. H. (1971). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. New York, NY: Viking Books.

 
[2] Cloud image, Kritzolina. Clouds over a Covelong Beach. 24 April 2023. Wikimedia Commons. Creative Commons Attributions Share Alike. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clouds_over_a_Covelong_Beach_08.jpg

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

It's hard to live in peace when we are surrounded by gossip from negative rumors in the workplace to breaking news and online chatter about the lives of celebrities and politicians.

 

The Oxford English Dictionary defines gossip as "idle talk, trifling or groundless rumor."[1] When one of my favorite writers, Henry David Thoreau, would walk into town, he experienced his neighbors' talk about other people, local events, and the news as gossip.

 

When Thoreau had what he called "a surfeit of human society and gossip," he'd return to his cabin in the woods for peace and renewal.[2] And that was before radio, television, phones, social media, and stories of celebrities and political personalities.

 

Gossip on the media assaults us with noisy trivia, plunging us into chronic stress. And the cycle continues. When we're feeling stressed, we often seek distraction in online gossip.

 

Over 150 year ago, Thoreau realized, "Our life is frittered away by detail.. . Simplify. Simplify." [3] To restore our peace of mind in this busy, noisy world, we need to simplify.

 

Here are some possibilities:

• You can recognize the allure of online gossip, then STOP to ask yourself, "Do I really need to know the latest about some celebrity or political personality?"
• When you need to take a break, instead of being distracted by social media and sucked into mindless gossip, look out your window at the bright blue sky. Or better yet, step outside. You might even walk around to increase your circulation and raise your mood. Or you can look up at the sky, take a deep mindful breath and slowly release it.

Did you know that taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling—diaphragmatic breathing—can stimulate your vagus nerve and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, relieving stress and returning you to a state of calm? It's a simple stress reliever you always have with you.

 

I invite you to join me in this simple practice right now.

• Close your eyes if you wish and take a long deep breath in through your nose, hold your breath briefly for a count of 5, then breathe out through your mouth and say to yourself "I am calm, I am peaceful."
• Once more, take a long deep breath in through your nose, hold your breath briefly, then breathe out through your mouth and say to yourself "I am calm, I am peaceful."
• Now feel yourself more calm and peaceful, right here and right now.

Whenever you feel stressed, you can use this simple breathing technique to return to a calmer, more peaceful state.[4]

 

I wish you joy and peace on the path.

 

 

References

[1] Oxford English Dictionary. (2024). "Gossip." https://www.oed.com/search/dictionary/?scope=Entries&q=gossip

[2] Thoreau, H.D. (1999). Walden. New York, NY: New American Library. Quote in Chapter 9, "The Ponds," p. 138. Originally published in 1854.

 
[3] Thoreau, Walden, Chapter 2, "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For," p. 73.

 
[4] Breathing practice adapted from Jordan Friedman's wonderful "Quick Calm" practice. For more insights on stress management, see https://www.thestresscoach.com/about